What works for you, doesn’t necessarily work for me

Ok, so based on one or two of my previous posts, I have a rather complicated relationship with my father. I love him to pieces but the majority of my pet peeves are linked to him, whether directly or indirectly. There’s one in particular that has been pushed at a lot over the past few months. My dad tends to think that whatever he is doing, everyone else needs to do too. He assumes that if something is working for him it will do the same for everyone.

Let’s take a look at the main example of this first. My family uses products from a wellness company: they have environmentally friendly, good-for-you products. Now, the products are really really great and they work very well; however, my dad seems to believe in the products almost religiously and thinks that they can do no wrong and will solve every single problem. If my brother or I use another product that this company has, he goes off on a rant about how we’re poisoning our bodies and blah blah blah. His job is referring customers to the company (which is a whole ‘nother subject/peeve all together that we won’t get into), so I suppose it’s a good thing he believes in the products but I personally think it’s annoying that he thinks everything works perfectly for everyone just because of his beliefs. It is man-made, there needs to be room for fallacy.

The second example is the one that really got to me today. Dad has recently switched to a new diet where rather than eating 3 big meals a day, you have about 6 little ones. Now there’s a couple things about this that get to me. First, let me say that I think this is probably a great diet: it keeps your metabolism going all day which will burn more fat and help you lose weight. Now, the problems that I have: first, my dad seems to use this as an excuse to just eat more times a day. The point behind these meals is they’re supposed to be smaller (aka normal portion size as opposed to American portions) and non-junk foods, if you’re still eating like double the recommended portion size and/or lots of junkie, fatty foods, it’s not going to do anything. Yeah, you have the metabolism always going but you’re also cramming more junk than you should be into your body. While my dad is (finally) starting to substitute fruits and such for chips, he’s still having a good deal more than the recommended serving size. Secondly, once again, my dad assumes that if he’s doing it, everyone needs to be doing it. I am a skinny person, I’m not overweight (in fact I might be under, not really sure haven’t weighed myself recently). I do not need to lose any weight. I could stand to work out and get into shape, but I have no need to go on a diet, especially since I’m already on a semi-strict vegetarian (with exception of fish) lifestyle. I was wearing my corset tonight and I made a comment about how it kept me from being hungry because it put pressure on my stomach. My dad starts going off about how I shouldn’t be starving myself (which I’m not) and that I need to be eating 6 meals a day. Now, I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, it could be just fine for me and actually might help with my Crohn’s disease, but I haven’t done the research on anything yet. I’m also not sure how well it would work with my vegetarianism. Being vegetarian and having Crohn’s disease means that I need to be more careful how I do things, look into what effects there could be, do research before making any dietary changes. My dad hasn’t taken these things into consideration. He just assumes that because he’s on the diet, I need to be following the same routine without figuring out what it could do to my body. Usually my dad is very considerate, not making spicy things to set off my Crohn’s even though he loves spicy, making sure I have vegetarian protein options, asking me what things he can make that I’ll eat, etc. However, there are times when he just doesn’t take the time to do the research.

Anyway… that’s enough of my ranting on the subject. Basically what I’m trying to say is that just because a product or lifestyle change works for you that doesn’t mean it’s going to work for everyone else in the same way. Don’t try to enforce your own choices on other people. Give suggestions, sure but don’t make the assumption that they have to do what you’re doing. Everyone needs to make their own decisions, figure out what works for them.

P.S. There are some things that I do believe are right for everyone. For instance, as a Christian, I believe the only way to Heaven is through the Lord Jesus Christ. Just thought I’d put that disclaimer out there.

Haircuts and Appearance

So a couple days ago, I got my hair cut super short (think Emma Watson). I completely love it, it’s so easy to manage and it’s nice a cool and off my neck. This summer I’ve been working at my old school’s summer day care. When I walked in on Monday with my short hair, they kind of freaked out. They asked me if I meant to get it cut that short and insisted that, despite my makeup and earrings, I looked like a boy. Frankly, this doesn’t really bother me. I’ve been accused of being a boy before: I’ve been hit on by girls and gay guys that were shocked when they heard I was a girl. I’ve been called a lesbian and a dyke (even though I am 100% straight). I’ve sort of become immune to being mistaken for a boy. Heck, as I was getting the cut, there was one point where I looked in the mirror and thought I looked very similar to my younger brother before he graduated and started to grow out his hair.

Suffice it to say, I don’t really care what people think about my looks, I care much more about what I like and how comfortable I am. Honestly, if I really cared how I looked, my wardrobe would probably be a lot different. There would likely be no steampunk things, skirts would be worn more often (I have some I’m just not big on wearing them that much), there wouldn’t be so many articles from the boy’s section, and my hair would be long and driving me nuts.

That’s not to say that I don’t care about my looks at all. I do, I’m human, I want people to like me and compliment me. In fact, in just about everything outside of my dresser/closet, I’m very much a people pleaser… it’s not exactly a good thing. Sometimes I find myself wondering if I dress “strangely” in an act of independence from people or because I want their attention. Perhaps it’s a little of both.

In any case, there’s one thing I try to keep in mind: I dress for myself not for anyone else. Sure, sometimes I don’t mind a little attention (I tend to get a good deal when I go out in my steampunk outfits), but in the end, I wear the clothes for my own enjoyment and comfort. And yes, I try my best not to wear anything that isn’t comfortable: even my steampunk is comfortable emotionally if not physically (although most of my stuff isn’t uncomfortable). By emotionally, I mean that I feel confident… much more so than I do normally. That is one thing I love about steampunk, I generally feel like a completely different person, someone that is confident and doesn’t care at all what people think.

Anyway, it’s always important to remember that it doesn’t matter what other people think about your appearance (outside of general hygiene or if it’s for a job or something) as long as you feel comfortable with yourself. Don’t dress to impress other people (again, outside of job interviews or if you have a work uniform or something), dress in such a way that you feel confident and relaxed. What’s important is what you think about how you look, not what others think. So, if you want to cut your hair down to like 2 inches in length, go for it, don’t worry about what other people will say as long as you like it.